Tuesday, December 08, 2009


Hello All

Warning!!! If you don't want to hear some venting turn back now

I usually try not to post too many personal things going on in my life. Other than some pics of the kiddies. However I have a major.....................complaint? dilemma? I don't know just something that ticks me off

My Father passed away on Sunday. We were expecting it, just not so soon. I did get to go see him the Saturday before. So we were okay and have don't have any major regrets. ( Don't you always have some shoulda, coulda, wouldas when someone dies?)

When my Mother died my Father was in bad financial straits and I was in absolutely no position to help and neither was my sister. It took Dad 5 years to pay off her very modest funeral

So he made sure when he passed that he had insurance and at least some plans in place, which we were so grateful for.

Now for the part that ticks me off. My sister found out at 7:40 pm that he had passed, she called me 5 minutes later.

The funeral home that picked him up, and will only be holding him until he is cremated, called her at 8:25 and wanted to know how she was going to pay for this and had to have an answer right away. My sister finally grew a backbone and told them where to go. They would get paid when his insurance came through

Ok fine, got that sorted out kinda

Dad is in Missouri , we are in Colorado so he is coming back here to be laid to rest with Mom.

The VA will now only pay $600 towards his burial costs at the National Cemetery here. WTF?

His ashes will be sent by US Mail, for God's sake . Another WTF?

If he goes directly to Ft Logan, by law they must inter him the next day. And they can't say for sure what day they will get him. I can't possibly get to Denver with 2 hours notice. So I guess he will either have to come to me, my sister or a Funeral home

All the funeral home needs to do is receive his ashes. We would then need to rent a room for the memorial , have those little cards with his info and a guest book. That plus a VERY simple urn.

The cost?Around $2000.........................?...................... Okay I guess. Dad has an insurance policy that will more than pay for these things plus the Funeral home in Missouri , cremation and the price of mailing ( again WTF?). Not sure on the cost for this

Now the part that just kicks me in the a$$ . They refuse to wait for the insurance money, even if we can get the insurance to tell them personally that it is coming. They want $2000 up front. I do not have this, between a 5 day trip to go back to see Dad before he died and Christmas for my kids ( albeit a much smaller Christmas than planned, but I only have presents for 1 child so far and I refuse to ignore the rest, plus my dad would kick my butt if I didn't give my kids a Christmas) I don't have that money and my sister most definitely doesn't

SO.................... they want to run a credit check, then they will allow us to wait to pay until the insurance money comes in..........in about 6 weeks if we are lucky

The problem? My sister and I have about the lowest credit scores on the face of the earth. So that won't work

My question is how the hell do people afford a funeral? I hope to God no one I love and must pay for the funeral dies soon.
How many people have great credit and at least $7000 lying around waiting for this? Isn't that what insurance is for?

I mean he tried very hard to be sure we would have the money, and we wouldn't have a hardship. But for what?

We will probably have to wait until almost 2 months after his death for his interment and memorial

This just isn't right

If I ever get my hands on Eric Chamberlain in Rockport. Missouri. The funeral director with no tact and huge love of money. I will personally wring his lilly white mortician neck.
This a$$ and his family have been burying my family for over 35 years and they get worse everytime. His family is the only cause of cursing I ever heard from my Mennonite Grandma

My hubby must have the right idea. He wants to be cremated than have a huge Irish style wake ( even if he Swedish) than some ashes dropped somewhere in Disneyland. The rest of his ashes he wants put into a replica Viking ship, set on a lake and blown up. No muss no fuss. I must say I am thinking this way

IF I had $10,000 setting around just waiting in case someone dies, then I would have $10, 000 setting around to pay off everything on my bad credit and still have money left over.

I am sorry. I just had to vent



Maddie Can Fly said...

I think this is more of our present day economy -- with so many insurance companies failing and credit being cut off to businesses, everyone wants their money now. Unfortunately, we're all in the same boat and don't have big globs of money laying around.

Again, my sympathies to you and your family over the loss of your dad. Sorry you're having to fight through all this other hassle.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your daddy and all of the pain that you are going through right now.

One of my good friends is a funeral director. He is going into debt because no one will pay him. He has been nice enough to put people on payment plans. They make a couple of payments and then stop. I guess they think he would not be so callous as to dig up grandma and return her since they stopped paying.

I am not sure what the answer is.

Another fried came to my office one day with a box about the size of a loaf of bread. She said *here hold this* so I did. It was a couple of pounds heavy and just a plain cardboard box. She then told me that I was holding her mom. Her mom had donated her body to science. When they are finished with it, it is creamated and returned to the family. They do not call ahead of time and tell you that they are shipping your loved one back.

She was really surpised when she got mom in the mail.

Gerry Krueger said...

My thoughts are with you and your family over the loss of your dad. Sorry you're having to fight through all this but it is also the norm in all health care. My mom's had care for 90 days and when the 90 days are up they kick you out no matter how sick you are... No money no care... so sad. Hugs Gerry

Jane said...

So sorry to hear about your Dad, Lauri. Makes you wonder how people with nothing get through the murkey mess of their elder years, especially those with no one around to help them. I pray all goes well for you in taking care of this, stay strong !!

FredaB said...

I am so sorry for you on the loss of your Father and that you should have to be worrying about money details at this time. I believe more and more people are wanting just cremation and then some kind of small memorial service after at a church, hall or someone's home. In view of this the funeral industry are losing big time as they are not getting the expensive casket type funeral and they are charging what I think is horrible prices just for the bit they are involved.

I hope you and your sister can get through this without too much more trauma.



Louisiana Momma said...

Im so sorry that has happened to you.. I often wonder what would happen if my parents passed.. my mom said her life insurance would pay.. but I plan on telling her about your plight b/c obviously there are funeral homes that aren't willing to be patient and wait on insurance..

Karen said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. It is never easy to loose a parent. I completely agree with you...the world has turned to complete nonsense when it comes to money and credit checks. Did you know you need a credit check when you sign up for the military (to see how high a security clearance you can get) and also to be a police officer?? Isn't that insane?? Hang in there, hope all works out as smoothly as possible for your family. Big Hugs, Karen K